


It's A Bad Dream

by queenofzan



Category: Wolf 359 (Radio)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-28
Updated: 2018-09-28
Packaged: 2019-07-18 12:13:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 635
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16118219
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/queenofzan/pseuds/queenofzan
Summary: Sex dreams about your coworkers are awkward at the best of times. Eiffel's life is light years away from the best of times.





	It's A Bad Dream

It’s not impossible to toss and turn in a sleep sack anchored to multiple walls, but it is uncomfortable and far more likely to result in coming unmoored and spinning around the room.

Eiffel wakes up when he bumps into a wall and almost breaks his nose.

It’s usually hard to wriggle out of a sleep sack half-asleep. It’s even harder when it’s not attached to anything but you.

He’s sweating and breathing hard by the time he frees himself from the confines of his so-called bed. “Hey, Hera?” he called, softly. “You up?”

“Some of us don’t need to sleep, Officer Eiffel,” came her mildly annoyed, reassuring voice. Eiffel breathed a sigh of relief. Not that he’d had dreams where he “woke up” from the dream that they’d brought Hera back, or anything. Not like he still worried Hilbert would–

“I just had _the_ weirdest dream,” Eiffel said, pushing his hair out of his eyes. It was sweaty enough that it stayed, which was kind of gross.

“Oh, I can see that,” Hera said. “Although I didn’t realize that’s what you _organic_ life forms were calling it these days.”

Eiffel made a face. “Oh come on, you’ve seen me in worse shape.”

“I have,” Hera agreed. “I’d be willing to bet I’m not the only one.”

Eiffel gasped in mock horror and put a hand to his chest. “Who told?” As she did sometimes when they were alone and he was off duty, Hera let out a giggle. She didn’t do it as often these days. “Okay, so _obviously_ I’ve had a wet dream before, but…is it even a thing to have sex dreams about people you hate?”

“Eiffel, I could not have less relevant experience in this,” Hera said. “Wait…this isn’t an excuse to rant about Hayden Christensen again, is it?”

“I would like to say my subconscious has better taste,” Eiffel said, “but _apparently_ …no, actually, it’s worse.”

“Worse than your nemesis?” Hera asked.

“I thought you said he couldn’t be my nemesis,” Eiffel said. He sniffed his sleep sack, shrugged, and nudged it toward the corner the straps were in. The sometimes-luxurious, sometimes-baffling size of the Hephaestus made a lot more sense, knowing at least one mission had been up here with a crew twice the size.

“He can’t,” Hera said, “but you wouldn’t–”

Eiffel interrupted. “Okay, okay, we’ve been over it, that’s not the point! The point is it was even worse and I don’t understand why my brain would do this to me!”

“Who could be ‘even worse’ than the man who can’t be your nemesis because he doesn’t know you exist?” Hera asked.

“It was Hilbert,” Eiffel said.

Hera was silent for a long time. “Ew,” she said finally.

“I know!” Eiffel said.

“Eiffel, there are some things you should really keep to yourself. Ugh.”

“If I didn’t tell someone I would just blurt it out some time worse,” Eiffel said. She hummed an agreement. “And that would be a horrifying disaster. And you _know_ how screwed up it is.”

“I think anyone would know how screwed up it is,” Hera said. “He’s a _murderer._ ”

“Hey, at least I feel gross and confused about it,” Eiffel said. “Ted Bundy had, like, groupies.”

“You know,” Hera said, “it was probably just because of the screwdriver.”

“Oh my god, you’re a genius,” he said. “Of course! He’s just the only person who’s ripped my clothes off lately!”

"Suddenly I’m very glad you didn’t reconnect my optical system until you were both wearing pants again.”

“Oh, to be able to disconnect my eyes,” Eiffel said. “Hey, can you turn on the water heater? I need a shower.”

“Are you sure you need hot water?” Hera asked. “I’ve heard a cold shower is more effective in your situation.”

“Ha, ha.”


End file.
